FIN

My last 2 weeks in Sri Lanka just FLEW by! So many things happening, driving around a lot, meeting people, having a blast. Met up with a lot of friends, also managed to get some boy time too. Safari was a perfect fling! He was all about the giving, plus the conversation was great too. We have a similar view on relationships... My last night out was crazy, met up with Peugeot, and it was the perfect end to our 2 month fling. The last few days i spent with my family, going around visiting relatives, and just chilling. Thus, my year in Sri Lanka came to an end.

And now, here i am in the land of the lion. It's been more about 9 days and it's been a very eventful 9 days. But things are slowly falling into place. Meeting a lot of people, but noone who really stuck. I thought that this french guy i hung out a lot for a few days will stick, a singapore version of my friend Ali back in france, but i guess not. I'm really excited to start classes, but somehow tonight i feel a bit down. Probably because it's been a tiring couple of days, with a lot to process, lot to do. Also trying to find my place in this new city/country. It's always a challenge, and that's exactly what i like about travelling, discovering new places, new people. I'm very positive about this coming year, but i guess i'm allowed to have my low points too right?

Anyway, i feel like this blog has come to an end. It's about my life, but somehow it feels like it's Ma vie à moi au Sri Lanka... and not here in Singapore. I can't decide yet whether i'll blog about this experience or not, but i'm pretty sure that this one needs to end.

It's been very cathartic writing this blog, whether it's been read or not. When i go through the posts this past 10 months, I realise that writing this blog is one of the ways that i've been able to come to this place i'm at right now, where i know who i am, and what i want with myself, and my life. So this space has more than served it's purpose, not that it had one to start with...

Good bye blog. I'll be coming back to you when i want a laugh and reflect about my dramatic (when is my life NOT dramatic) 'gap' year in Sri Lanka.

Adieu

Oh what a week!

Conpared to the totally boring and uneventful week the week before, this week was CRAZY eventful! One thing i realised this week is that i am starting to get attached to Peugeot. He came back into town on monday morning, and i met up with him monday night. It was so great and comfortable. And although i still think that we're headed to friend-dom, the chemistry is still dynamic between us. Then on tuesday it was time for some Français, at the Bastille day reception. Sexy text aka Safari also got back on monday and had sent me a text on monday night, and although sexy talk with him was still just as fun, i was a bit dissapointed when the talking stopped. Obviously the smooth talking is a way to trying to make up for something. I had also met Spanish lover on tuesday although he left early, which was perfect since he didn't see me leaving with Sexy text (although he HAD noticed something between us). We had made plans for a 'language exchange' for thursday, so i met up for dinner with him at what i now think is the best italian restaurant in town. Afterwards, we exchanged something which had nothing to do with language. He was sweet, and he was so very obviously smitten, it was nice to have someone look at me with goo goo eyes. Being with the three boys one after another made me affirm that i have developed VERY good taste in the kind of person i get attracted to. It also made me realise that i am, despite myself, attached or actually smitten with Peugeot. The irony of it is that he's the one who's most unavailable of the three (from what he has told me). Perhaps it's my inner masochist who has lead me to it. Perhaps it's the fact that i've been 'seeing' him for almost 2 months now. Perhaps it's the fact that i know it will not go beyond the next few days that makes me want more... Whatever the reason, it is, what it is. I am attached. I was with 2 really awesome guys, and I thought of Peugeot (although i DID enjoy my time with them nonetheless!). Oh well, all i can do is try and spend some more time with him next week. Oh god! I'm going to miss him! Not good! Oh well, i'll live. I'm attached but i don't think i could use the L word, any of 'em, with him. But even attached is too much.

On a different but related subject, I hope my quest of having as much 'fun' as possible won't cause any issues, especially with the juggling of three guys at the same time, two of whom know eachother. I just have 10 days more. That's not enough time for things to get messy.

Till then I'm just going to enjoy the attention. But I'll give priority to Peugeot...

Other than the undesired attachment, i'm having a really good time, and life is amazing and beautiful!!

A bientôt

Boys Boys Boys!!!

Not boys. Men really. But when they take off the tie and the cuff links, all that they are, are boys! And I love these Man/Boys. I am desperately attracted to them. They are all successful in whichever field they might be in. They are smart. They are charming. They are sexy in their own way. They are all funny and FUN! And best of all, they know how to balance the man and the boy in themselves!!!

I can't say this has always been the kind I liked. But during the past 12 months, as i have enjoyed this particular kind more and more, i've gotten a taste for it. And now I feel like it's ingrained in me. My type was always the good-looking, classy boys. But boys nonetheless. Now i've toned down on the looks and gone up in the class and age qoutient.

It's funny how taste changes with time. I feel like I'm growing up. And therefore I feel like I need someone who's grown up. But at the same time NOT. Just to keep the right balance. It's all about me. As I grow older, the classier I want my men, I can't even handle cheap knockoffs even for a fling. I feel repulsed by immaturity despite the beautiful box it comes in. I am like a bee to the sweet honey of a ripe rich respectable MAN!

I sound like a gold-digger. But I don't like them for the money. I like them for the personality that money gives them. Then again, I don't like the overly spoilt brats either. I want my men with just the right balance. Lucky for me, there are quite a few who don't tip the scales.

Right now, it feels like what I'm looking for is comfort. Someone in who's arms I'll feel safe and secure and comfortable. And Peugeot gives that to me. Despite everything, I'm going to miss cuddling with him, getting tickled by him till I can't breath, just talking about random shit with him... It was never anything serious. It was never the openness that I had with the Devil. It was never the pure carnal fire that raged between me and the devil. It's enough. It's good. It's comfortable. And it's over in 3 weeks. But till then, I hope to get some more comfort hours.

But I can't wait till Safari comes back. Now THAT i think will be some crazy ass FUN! And then there's the Spanish lover I met this weekend. I hope to learn spanish the FUN way with him!! Then there's the poor brainless Marine with the big guns. If I don't have anything else to do, I might see how he turns out to be.

Ahh the boys... gotta enjoy them! What else is a young girl supposed to do?

A bientôt

La vie est belle!

Every day i wake up, i'm one day closer to leaving. One day closer to starting a whole new chapter of my life, one day closer to my goals, one day closer to starting all over again in a new place!

It's been a few weeks since i've written anything on this blog, and i realise that this is because things have either being very slow, or very good and which I didn't particularly want to write about.

I've been happy these past couple of weeks. I finally got over the dry spell, and it was awesome! Although it's been difficult to meet with the Peugeot guy I haven't been fretting about it. Instead I've been going out and meeting new people. I think there's a new prospect in the horizon... Let's call him the Safari guy. We shall see how it goes. I am a lady with a plan these days. My plan is to have as much fun as possible before i leave. I'm young, I'm smart, I'm reasonably atttractive, I'm leaving soon and I've got a few very interesting guys lined up before me. I have nothing to lose (except maybe some time) and everything to gain (a lot of fun!).

As for Uni, i'm not thinking about it too much. I shall see when i get there. I want to make the best of these last few weeks which might possibly be my last entirely responsibility free period. After my Master i'll have to start working, looking at Phd options etc etc etc...

Also, I hate regretting not doing certain things. And this year, I've been keeping myself in check far too often. It was actually for the best because I've avoided quite a few difficult situations. At the same time, I feel like I haven't really been ME. But ever since I met Peugeot, i feel like i'm finally happy about being me. Probably it's just a coincidence that he turned up at that particular time, but he did and it's perfect. What I've noticed is that both the guys have serious professional sides but still manage to have and be FUN! With Peugeot, I see how hard it is to run a successful business AND have time for fun, but he still seems to balance it because of his easy-going personality. I'm learning from him, that the key to the balance is in your attitude.

Writing this, I'm reminded how content I am. I've been striving a whole year to some to this, and I'm so grateful that i'm finally here.

Life is beautiful!

A bientôt

Easy...

I really like things that are just simple, easy and straightforward. I really like guys who are like that too. Although by simple, i don't mean stupid, and by easy, i don't mean man-whores. It's been a while since i met someone like this. And it's so very refreshing to do so... And since he's technically Australian, I wouldn't be breaking one of my long standing trends... How perfect is life. I get the perfect guy for this time in my life. He's like a shot of very expensive vodka. Goes down smooth, get's you intoxicated, yet doesn't give you a bad hangover :) *sigh* Happy. Gosh i'm so easy to please! 

A bientôt

Paranoid.

I didn't realize the extent to which i am capable to be paranoid till this morning. So guy sends me a text while i was driving, asking me to call him when i'm free. IMMEDIATELY blood starts pumping to my brain, the wheels start turning and I come up with theories as to why he wants to talk to me at 9.30am! A few of which were that he found out something that might make him not want to see me again. Then there was the 'i already have a girlfriend, sorry i didn't tell you before'. There were a few more which I can't remember now. Anyhow, I got out for a few minutes, and took that time to call the guy. Line was busy; my brain went into hyperdrive! As the smart and informed driver I was, i drove down a one way road, and ended up crossing a busy junction completely disregarding the traffic lights! I was SHIT SCARED! So I stopped by the side of the road to regain my breath, and called the guy. Unfortunately he was really busy, kept getting calls, people coming to talk to him etc etc. Obviously i was baffled by why he wud want to talk when he was clearly extremely busy. And then he says it. He want's to know what time we'll meet up tonight! PHEW, my face lit up like the eiffel tower! And that's it. 

All that stress, all those theories, for no reason at all. So finally I decided that I'm going to STOP over-analyzing and being paranoid. It's way too obvious that's he's into me! I'm still going to tread carefully, but i am NOT going to be as delirously paranoid as I have become lately. But I can't be blamed, what i went through with the neurotic devil a few months ago is bound to have left some lasting damage. 

Down with paranoia, and Cheers to taking things easy! 

A bientôt

First of the month!

I've always loved the first day of a new month. There's something refreshing about it. It's like life is starting all over again. Whatever happened in the past month is forgotten. You're given a second chance. 

I've always known that life is very unpredictable and strange, but sometimes I'm surprised by just how unpredictable life is. Did I know 10 days ago that I would meet someone that got me curious for more? NO Absolutely not! I was accepting the idea of being alone for quite some time. Although of course, I was not going to deny myself some carnal pleasure if it walked my way. 

And now, here I am writing about a guy I only met twice. Who is all of a stranger to me. First time I met him, it was for barely an hour, second time, well approximately 9hours, during which time we introduced ourselves quite intimately. It was strange telling my friends how I went out with a guy i barely know and his friends. Ok, this IS colombo, i DID know who the friends were, and there WERE mutual friends. But still, one week before, he had been a total STRANGER. And i'm lovin' it! What better way to spend a summer than to get to know someone from zero. 

Am I wary about him? Yes. I am wary about any guy, especially the kind of guy he is. But more I talk to him, more I find that he's smart and witty without being neurotic and mentally unstable like some others I've known. I wonder when I'll see him again, hopefully in a few days. I hope he'll take me for a ride in his sexy and spacious 407. 

I am getting curiouser and curiouser by the day, and I think I see the makings of an exciting summer fling! 

A bientôt!