Thursday, December 25, 2008

Psycho EX

OMG i am SEETHING right now!

Yesterday i had one of the most freakiest experiences in my 22 years on this earth!

I was just going to do some grocery shopping at Foodcity with my mommy, and before that we dropped into the lil clothes shop next to it to see if there was anything interesting. So there i was happily shopping, when i get a call from my brother telling me that an old friend of mine came to see me at home! And i knew from his tone who it was! So the EX had come over, and started shouting my name from the gate. It's a bit far from the gate to the house so it took a while for the maid to hear... by then he had started to shout Lokubaba cuz he knows that's what i'm called at home.. Then when my maid went out to see who it was, she didn't see anyone cuz he and his FRIEND (yes he brought a friend along) were behind tall Bougainvillea bush by the gate! When he heard my maid's voice, she recognized it and started shouting HER name (i can't believe he STILL remembered her name tho). My poor maid was freaked out and called for my brother! And my idiot of a brother told the EX that i had gone to Foodcity with my mum! Then given the house number when the EX had asked for my brother's number..

So there i was shopping happily, when i get this news. So obviously i was worried about going to Foodcity now cuz knowing him, it's highly possible he was there. So we went in (mum and me), i checked out all the aisles, and the coast was CLEAR! PHEW! Then i texted one of my best friends who (thankfully) is back in Lanka for the holidays. Then while i was trying to decide between bacon or minced beef he shouted my name twice from about 5m away. i turned. My heart was beating so fast i thought it might pop out of my rib cage any time! I was scared, panicking! I was totally disoriented. I looked at him for a second, did a short movement with my hand without lifting it from my waist to acknowledge his presence, then ran to my mum, but had to take a few steps back cuz i had forgotten to bring the caddy!!!

So basically i stuck to my mum like glue till she finished shopping. All the while texting my friend (A). And A kept telling me that i shudn't talk to him whatever happens and my mum kept telling me that i shud be nice and go talk to him. I was even talking in sinhala, like EVERY word cuz i didn't want him to understand in case he was nearby. Bt i didn't bother to go talk to him, and i didn't look for him. But i DID think it was quite funny, somehow, and i was laughing (i guess it was the shock). So finally we were done with shopping and went to the cashier. I was let out a sigh of relief. We're outta here soon.

THEN i saw him. He was outside, on the other side of the road from Foodcity and he was staring at me. The WHOLE TIME we were checking out he was STARING! I only noticed him cuz i felt the stare... He was like a ghost. All pale in a black t shirt! Ugh!!! I still get visions of that... I was really scared. But i laughed it off. Mum wanted to go talk to him but i dragged her to the car and went home. I didn't really relax till about an hour after we got home.
But then the real feeling hit! Especially when my mum went on about how i shouldn't treat him like this etc etc...

I was in SHOCK! My ex, who i broke up with 9 months ago was STALKING me! For heaven's sake he could have gone to ANY country. But he chose to come to Sri Lanka for xmas! And he KNEW i didn't want to see him. I made it VERY clear!!!!

And he fucking STALKED me!!!! Snuck up on me!!! Bloody scared me!!!!

And NOW he's trying to fucking MANIPULATE my MOTHER sending her emails apologizing for not saying hello to her, and thanking her for all she did etc etc etc... so my MOTHER is telling me i should be kinder to him, and not treat him like the enemy.

Thank GOD i have A and her dad who's like a father to me.. Cuz my parents just don't seem to understand what the EX is trying to do! What a manipulating ASSHOLE he really is.
Just cuz we were practically married and i broke up with him don't mean that he has the right to pop up at my gate like that. ESPECIALLY when i was SO clear that i didn't want to see him!

This was the first time i saw him since the 31st of December 2007. A YEAR! The first time since we broke up. I didn't want to see him. It's hard to see him. Just seeing him in Foodcity reminds me of times we used to walk over there in our summers together to buy stuff..

I don't want those memories again! I don't want him again. And i want him to disappear from my life. Just cuz he doesn't regret our relationship doesn't mean i have to not regret it too! Just cuz he wud do it all over again doesn't mean i want to do that too!

If i knew how this was going to end i would NEVER have gone out with him!

And here i am back at the start, not trusting guys, thinkin that i'll never find someone who'll really understand me, who'll love me for who i REALLY am, and not who they think i am..

I knew that he cud do this, i expected this when he came to france 3 months after the breakup, i was expecting him to come knocking at my door. Bt not NOW, not 9 months later. Not when he says that he's over it etc etc..

ARGH!!!! I cud SCREAM right now!


Monday, December 15, 2008

'Tis the season to be jolly...

but i CAN'T!!

I haven't had a Sri Lankan Winter since 2003!! And i MISS the french Christmas!
I wish i wasn't Buddhist just so i could have a PROPER Christmas, i wish i was FRENCH and had a HUGE family cuz i MISS the dinner's that last 12 hours, and many, MANY courses, the copious amounts of red and white wine, the Christmas trees, layers and layers of clothes, exchanging presents, the window decorations at Printemps and Galleries LaFayettes in Paris, the curtain of lights in Bordeaux...

Then again Christmas always meant that there were exams looming ahead on the other side of NYE, i definitely DON'T miss that!


And of COURSE, the new years tradition of Gallettes des rois...

I miss eating foie gras... (i remember how my french hosts explained what it was for the first time heh)

So many memories... both good and bad, but mostly UNFORGETTABLE!!


A bientôt

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


The sex ooozing from this picture is just irresistible!!

The hat, the polka dots, the gloves! J'adore!!!

Wide legged pants beat skinny's all the time!

I love these wayfarers and i was SOOO happy to have found a black pair in Colombo!

I want to start smoking again just to put out the cigarette like this!

Ma vie à moi!

I realised that this blog thingy in Sri Lanka is actually a tiny little community where everyone knows eachother, as bloggers or personally or both. It's interesting how it reflects the reality of Colombo society... and to see how people react to this society 'we' live in.

I, personally, HATE Colombo society. I HATE this culture that i'm forced to live in!! I DON'T want to conform, but i seem to HAVE to. But i WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!! Even if I have to depossess myself as a Sri Lankan i'm ready to do that JUST to NOT be part of Sri Lankan Society!

That said.

I have changed my Blog title cuz i don't think of my life as 'post-university' (after 'la fac') anymore. It's been 5 months since i've been done with that. It's soon 2009. A whole new year, a year that has NO connection to my life back in the Hexagon. This is my life NOW!

I was reading some other blogs and saw this tagging thing going around about what ppl have done in the last year.

I have to say that i started my year off with a BANG! NYE '08 was CRAZY! I got extremely wasted, fell down a flight of stone stairs while trying to call my bf (at the time ), made out with three or maybe four guys, almost got drugged by weird guys in the back of a dogdy caravan and spent the 1st day of the new year in bed nursing a bruise the size of a fist which was on my hip!

So the year continued as it started -

  • I realised that i was capable of cheating without feeling guilty
  • I met some amazing friends while waiting for a bus at 2am
  • I broke up with my bf of 2 and a half years on skype CHAT
  • The above was also my first break up and first time I dumped a guy
  • I met a guy who was the physically the PERFECT fit for me!
  • Broke a bone for the first time/got general anesthesia and operated on for the first time
  • Fell in love with an animal for the first time
  • Learnt to love my best friends more (if that was possible) for their love and support
  • Got blackmailed with dodgy photos for the first time
  • Went on my first blind date
  • Had my fantasy of having sex in a bar fulfilled
  • Had sex in some pretty WEIRD places - on cobblestones, beer cellar, tram bench
  • Got my first degree! Whoohooo
  • Did hard drugs for the first time!!!
  • Left a place and people that i had grown to love!
  • Felt what saying goodbye never knowing when you'll see eachother is like..
  • Faced too much change in TOO short a time!
  • Realised that i was becoming someone i didn't want to be, and decided to change that when i got back home (to sl)
  • Went through a phase where i didn't know WHO i was, or wanted to be... i still don't
  • Got my first paid job.
  • Went out with a really NICE guy for the first time
  • Remembered why i had left home in the first place
  • Realised that i might be turning into my father.. and vowed to prevent that!
  • Quit smoking for NOT the first time
  • Saw some places that made me realise that Sri Lanka is truly paradise!
  • My mother saw me completely drunk for the first time!
  • Fell in love with a child for the first time (i usually HATE kids)
  • For the first time, i don't know what i'm going to do next year... and i'm scared.
That's all i can think of...

I don't regret anything that i've DONE, i simply regret all the things that i wasn't able to do this last year... but I think that all in all, it was a really GOOD year!

I want to look back at this list and compare it with next years list.. now THAT wud be something!

Hope that next year i'd be able to have many more new, fun and totally zycra experiences!!

A bientôt