Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Goals for 2011

It's another extremely slow and tiring day at work despite coming in at only 1.30 pm. The morning was interesting. I went for a screen test for a TV commercial and a potential movie. Walking up and down and turning left and right was all that was required for the commercial screen test but the movie required a bit more thought and effort. It had been a while since I did any improv so coming up with dialogues to suite the emotion changes that the director required was a bit difficult. Going from Happy to Sad to Angry, from Happy to Funny to Sarsactic... not the most elaborate direction to improvise on. But I think it wasn't too bad. The only problem was when I was asked to act in my mother tongue. It's quite shameful but when I'm not speaking to those who I associate witht the language (like my maid) I get a little accent :S To get over that hurdle I directed the dialogue to my maid. Clever little trick if i say so myself! Anyhow, it was quite an experience and we'll see where it goes.

Coming into work after that was EXHAUSTING! Doing nothing really is harder than doing work I think! It takes so much effort to fill up idle time but when you're busy, time simply flies by. So to fill up the minutes I decided to make a DRAFT list of things I would like to do in 2011.

Here goes, in no particular order -

- Zumba lessons
- Movie
- TV Commercial
- More French related stuff
- Article on Intellectual Property
- Law College exams
- Go to India (mumbai or delhi or both)
- Grow hair longer and healthier
- More ME time
- Learn Spanish
- Fix teeth
- Meet a man i can trust
- fr/eng official Translator

I think I'll add to the list before the end of the year but for now it seems like i have quite an event filled year ahead of me...

A l'an prochain!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Yet another year is coming to an end and here I am looking back at the past year. As usual I've done some crazy things, but on the whole, the year has been one in which I have grown up in many ways. I have become calmer and more settled. Although the travel bug still bites me now and again, I've come to terms with the fact that I have to be here for the next 2 years. I have a job that i like, even on slow and boring days like today I really appreciate it and feel lucky to be where I am. I'm doing, what i hope will be, the last exams for a few years. Though they will be long and tedious, I know it will be worthwhile. I have some good friends around me, and good friends all over the world who i love and trust. I am with my family, who I cherish despite all the differences I have with them and which they have with eachother.
Most of all, right now, as I write, I am mere feet away from my loveur! A is here on holiday and it's been about 10 days now, and she'll be here for another week but it still feels so surreal. To take her to places I love, places i hang out... It feels so amazing to share THIS part of my life with her and introduce her to people I have spoken about, and places i have described. I feel truly happy. Since the exams finished a few weeks ago, many things have been happening. But there is one that stands apart because it made me realise just how much I have grown up, just how sure I have become of what exactly I want.
I met a guy. A lovely guy just like the hypothetical one i describe at the end of my previous post. Only, there is one problem, he's English and he's only here for another 4 weeks. So, contrary to habit and my own gut feeling, I told him I dont want to see him anymore. I liked him so much after knowing him for barely 3 weeks and having been physical with him for 5 days, that I knew that after the next 4 weeks were over I would become truly attached to him. There is no hope whatsoever of anything lasting past that expiry date. Therefore I did the sensible, adult thing, and nipped it in the bud.
I can't say I wasn't gutted. What really hurt me was the fact that I find it SO hard to find someoneIi liked who I can really be myself with, and who likes me more for it, that I felt a wave of self-pity wash over me. Self pity is probably the worst of all feelings because it makes you feel so pathetic and I know that if i didnt have A with me, consoling me and repeating how i did the right thing, i probably would have gone running back to him!
Anyhow, after that initial wave of self pity, i felt self-assurance which is extremely empowering. I feel stronger for restraining myself and not following my instincts, because I DO deserve better than 4 weeks of happiness with a temporary lover. For once, I am ready to give up momentary satisfaction and patiently wait for something more long lasting.
Thus it is probably the biggest step towards growing up that I took this whole year. I am extremely proud of myself.
I'm also looking forward to the coming year. It feels like I have a lot of activity planned in addition to the months of gruelling exams. I feel hopeful and happy which has a lot to do with the fact that I'll be starting the year with someone I love next to me!
So I'm back to being my positive and happy self and I know there'll be much more happiness and positivity in the coming year.
Happy New Year to all!
A l'an prochain