Sunday, March 14, 2010

The neverending script

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing. Whether I truly am supposed to be a lawyer. Maybe I'm pursuing the wrong career. I've always wanted to write. Ever since I was a child I have had a fascination for stories. I was a bookworm and as a grew older my love for reading grew. My love for stories lead me down the eventual path of writing them myself. I've written poetry, prose, short stories and I've even started writing a novel (which i never finished and is now buried somewhere with my old diaries). 

I know that I'm good at telling stories. I love it. People who listen to them love hearing me. It might be racy stories about my sexcapades or fantasy about elves and goblins for my kid cousins. It's never been about what kind of story, but about telling something that is close to me. Stories come from what you experience. They might be something you've experienced first hand, or something a friend or an acquaintance has gone through. But the best stories come from your imagination. You're imagination takes your experiences, anything that has gone through your mind, that your eyes have seen, your senses have felt, and processes them and churns out stories that can range from utterly ridiculous to supremely profound. 

I suppose the best kind of stories are the ones that you lived. Shakespeare said that all the world's a stage and we are merely actors. I think that each actor is also his own playwrite. He can try his best to memorize his dialogue but the one sure thing is that he can never be one hundred percent certain what the other actor might say. So the play of life is a constant improvisation. Sometimes you're tempted to write little skits imagining what the other actor or actors might say. I know I do it all the time. I enjoy these little stories that I have in my head. Sometimes they include people around me, in circumstances that might be possible. Then sometimes they include people i might never meet and circumstances i hope will never happen. Either way I love those stories. Some could go on for weeks, some only last a few days. But the common thread in these stories is me. Because I can put myself in circumstances that I can only dream about, in opportunities that I wish were real, and those which i'm too scared to make true. 

When i was younger my mom used to say i lived in a dream world. She would catch me staring out into nothingness, oblivious to whatever she might be saying. I am much more conscious these days about my day dreaming, and my acting talents have only improved with age. But my mother was right. I did live in a dream world, and i still do. But the extent to which i live there, the duration, the intensity depends on what my real life is at that moment. Right now, my real life feels tedious and boring. So I retreat further and further into my dreamworld. The down side to this is that further i go, more i leave behind those in the real world. I isolate myself in my day dreams pushing away all human contact. 

Most who have met me think I'm very extroverted. Little do they know how much of an introvert I am... 

However i do crave company. Yet it's always hard to do something about it. Because it's oh so comfortable in the dream world. Everything i want to hear, want to feel, want to have, is there. 

I could go on about this for a very long time. 

Unfortunately, 40% of my grade depends on the paper I have to submit tomorrow. How I wish I could make up a story about Competition Law! 

A bientôt

16 comments:

Servant of the Most High said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Sarade said...

I love the illustration at the top of your blog! And don't become a lawyer if you're not sure...I've switched my career so many times, and am now starting over again in my mid-thirties to pursue what makes me happy. Good luck!

justashortgirl said...

Hiii! Great blog. I only read the first paragraph because I have to get back to studying, but, you sound a whole lot like me (not knowing what do do career-wise) Lol!
Have a great day ! Follow me if you like.
anhanonymous.blogspot.com

Sabina Andersson said...

your blog is awsome!
maybe you could read mine
love from Sweden

lucky_me said...

The Illustration on the header is by Garance Doré check out her blog on my list on the right. Thanks for your comments. biz

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fritopi said...

i totes disagree with people who say "don't be a lawyer." you should be a lawyer, make a ton of money, then retire at the ripe age of 35 and write for the rest of your life. you'll be writing so much that you're bound to write the next great american novel and make even MORE money. and then all will be well.

(i switched my major from electrical engineering/pre-med to english after my sophomore year. i can write a decent story now, but that's not really enough to pay the bills. at least not yet...)

(also also, so as to not come across as a psycho creeper, i clicked on the "next blog" tab at the top of my screen and it led me here! you have a unique writing voice. just thought you'd like to know.)

Maddie said...

Hi as my curiosity often gets the best of me...I was possessed to click the next blog button. Your blog caught my eye and I see you are a freelance writer sort of person. I've always enjoyed writing and was wondering if I could get a few pointers possibly? My blog is http://ramblingsinthemoment.blogspot.com if you want to see my little space of free expression. thanks

chumly said...

"If you believe in magic you have the universe at your command". I heard Crystal Gail sing that on the Muppets years ago. Dream on and just be yourself and you will always have a special place in this world no matter what you do.

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David A. Rollins said...

As a writer myself, I understand the dilemma you face between your career and your creative side.

I told myself for years that I should write a novel, but somehow life always got in the way, and I allowed it. It wasn't till later in life, when a chronic illness forced me to retire, that I found the time to write that novel.

Since then, I have written several more, and I must say, I wish I had started years before, because I love it more than anything I've ever done.

So, here's my advice. Find the time to write, if you truly love it. Don't wait. There are many hours in a day. Find the empty hours between career and socializing and devote them to your craft. You'll find that you can have it all.

Best of luck to you.
David A. Rollins

Bartholomew said...

I clicked the "Next Blog" button on my own page and got here. You have a marvelous blog :]

I love writing and daydreaming too! In fact, I used to fail at maths tests because I daydream too much in class. Somehow numbers and equations make me loose interest really fast.

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