Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Single: To be or not to be...

A pretty set of solar powered lights that look good together

It's been almost 10 months that i have been single. Well at least not in a long term relationship. To put it in a more coherent manner, it's been ten months since i broke up with my first real boyfriend.
After 2 and a half years of being in a serious relationship i feel like I haven't really felt single the last few months. Except of course for a few times when i've had a blues.
There have been so many things happening, so many changes, so many men that have crossed my path, that i haven't felt like i really needed to be in a relationship. Even when i did have a chance at one, it didn't work out for absolutely no explainable reason...
I can't deny that it wasn't nice being in a couple. Being a set, an awesome twosome! It felt secure, i had someone i could tell everything to, someone to listen to my little quirky remarks about my day, someone to console me in my hypochondriac moments, someone to tell everything to (almost everything).
But then again, when i really think about it, he was more of a cross between a parent and best friend for me. Because i was far from home, with my best friend living in a different country, albeit not too far away. But now, i'm back at home. My mum is there to fuss over me, my best friend is still in a different country, now even further than before but she's still there for me to tell things to... So he's not really missed.
What i do miss is the physical side of being in a relationship. The hugs, the cuddling, the holding hands, looking into eyes.. Yet, being in a long distance relationship, i wasn't really getting much of that.
So in the end, i really don't feel like i'm missing something. Apparently if a few months i'll feel different. A very close friend of mine who has been single for more than a year tells me that she feels lonely, that she wants something to look forward to, someone to hold her in that special way, to be loved..
I of course tried to pacify her saying solitude is a given for us human beings, and to not look for love, and that it'll find u, the usual clichés stuff...
But it got me thinking. Do i or do i not want to be single?
My question was asnwered a few minutes after my conversation with my friend. A girl from class started telling me about her relationship with her bf, and WOW, i think her relationship would come a close second in the 'messed up relationship' scale!
All throught her banter, i felt myself thanking a 'higher power' for being single! I didn't want complications in my life. My mess just ended and i did NOT want to get in another one!
The next day I found an article about a girl who makes a pact to be single for a year! I'd like to do this, but i wonder if being single allows for random hooks ups, because i sincerely hope that a year of singleness does not equate to a year of abstinence!!!
Whatever it means, i think that i'll try being single for about 6 months. Things are so simple when you're single. No need to worry about what another person thinks. Love, i get enough of from my family; sex, I can find it when i need it; company, friends do the trick!

So here's to a single first half of 2009 - Tchin tchin!!

A bientôt

2 comments:

myprerogative said...

well what do you know... another human being in a similar part of the cycle.... lol.. Don't worry, soon enough you'd be hoping to get into a relationshsip.... Just pray that it will take a long time! i'd Drink to that!!
Pitchers on me..!!

The Clothes Horse said...

Careful, with that talk you'll scare off the men. Some are afraid of strong women, who don't need them. :)
P.S. I do take my own pictures with a tripod. I don't feel comfortable in front of other people.