Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sex, drugs and rock and roll...

In French, when someone tells you that you're very 'rock and roll', it means that ur very libertine, very open... To new experiences, to experimenting... That you embody the whole 'rock and roll' era. Although a few people tell me that i'm très rock and roll, i know that i'm not. I could introduce you to someone that is, but no, not me. Maybe i have some 'rock and roll' tendancies, but essentially i'm not. Justify Full
Why do i know this? It's because i miss someone coming upto me from behind, wrapping his arms around me, and snuggling his face in my neck, in my hair, breathing me in. I miss the way it is to be looked at by a man who loves you, who looks at you as if you are perfection itself. I miss the way it feels to hear someone cry 'je t'aime' in the throws of passion. I miss saying ''good morning'', and really mean it because the morning started off beautifully. I miss holding hands under the table, rubbing eachothers hands with the thumb. I miss those whispery kisses running down my spine.

I have not be playing the 'game' for long. For most of the past 10 months that i have been single, i've been above 'the game'. I used the same field, but I was above all the rules, and I knew i would win without even bothering to play.

Like anything that is overdone, it got boring. So now, since of late, i have been trying to play the game, and i realise that i'm absolutely TERRIBLE! I hate the rules, maybe it's the habit of having overlooked them for so long. I feel confined into a one field whereas before, i could jump from one field to another without a thought! And unlike before, i do not know if i would win. My opponent used to only be a pawn in my win, but now, the win depends on him. I don't know how long i'll be able to keep up with this game. I am slowly learning the rules as i go along...

But i've gotten a taste for victory... I'm addicted to victory. Unfortunately my opponant is aware of this, and will force me to play my best game. But i have faith. Despite not being 100% sure of a win. I am 100% hopeful of it! If i don't win this game, there'll always be others... Yet, unlike when i used to be above 'the game', there are now risks. AHHH now that's the only thing that's keeping this game FUN!

A bientôt

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