Conpared to the totally boring and uneventful week the week before, this week was CRAZY eventful! One thing i realised this week is that i am starting to get attached to Peugeot. He came back into town on monday morning, and i met up with him monday night. It was so great and comfortable. And although i still think that we're headed to friend-dom, the chemistry is still dynamic between us. Then on tuesday it was time for some Français, at the Bastille day reception. Sexy text aka Safari also got back on monday and had sent me a text on monday night, and although sexy talk with him was still just as fun, i was a bit dissapointed when the talking stopped. Obviously the smooth talking is a way to trying to make up for something. I had also met Spanish lover on tuesday although he left early, which was perfect since he didn't see me leaving with Sexy text (although he HAD noticed something between us). We had made plans for a 'language exchange' for thursday, so i met up for dinner with him at what i now think is the best italian restaurant in town. Afterwards, we exchanged something which had nothing to do with language. He was sweet, and he was so very obviously smitten, it was nice to have someone look at me with goo goo eyes. Being with the three boys one after another made me affirm that i have developed VERY good taste in the kind of person i get attracted to. It also made me realise that i am, despite myself, attached or actually smitten with Peugeot. The irony of it is that he's the one who's most unavailable of the three (from what he has told me). Perhaps it's my inner masochist who has lead me to it. Perhaps it's the fact that i've been 'seeing' him for almost 2 months now. Perhaps it's the fact that i know it will not go beyond the next few days that makes me want more... Whatever the reason, it is, what it is. I am attached. I was with 2 really awesome guys, and I thought of Peugeot (although i DID enjoy my time with them nonetheless!). Oh well, all i can do is try and spend some more time with him next week. Oh god! I'm going to miss him! Not good! Oh well, i'll live. I'm attached but i don't think i could use the L word, any of 'em, with him. But even attached is too much.
On a different but related subject, I hope my quest of having as much 'fun' as possible won't cause any issues, especially with the juggling of three guys at the same time, two of whom know eachother. I just have 10 days more. That's not enough time for things to get messy.
Till then I'm just going to enjoy the attention. But I'll give priority to Peugeot...
Other than the undesired attachment, i'm having a really good time, and life is amazing and beautiful!!
A bientôt
1 comment:
Is der a way dat i can discuss wid u my confused state of mind since watever u write is soooo very like wats happening in my life...wid a few exceptions...I dont want any 3rd person in dis blog world to read dis stupid feeling of mine who wont understnd or dismiss it... It seems like our lives are sort of going parallel...jes dat u r 2 years ahead of me....as in i'm 2 years younger to you...I really want 2 know wer im gonna end!! Its one month to my finals for my 3rd yr in college...and im jes not being able to find a way to get up and finish dis yr of college...seems like i'm gonna flunk and feel miserable!! I am going in a state of depression like never b4 and im doing crazy things wic i really want 2 stop!but i jes fall into dat web once again....I pledged not 2 smoke...and again it pulls me back becoz of all d brooding n restlessness...I cant understnd wic guy is genuinely being nice to me or they jes trying to take advantage of my weaknesses! I jes keep thinking of all the past things lying on bed....and time flies....and its almost 2 late....
Is der a way we can communicate?? i wudnt want 2 breach yr hidden identity...neither wud i...but im jes sooo relieved to find sum1 widout making a deliberate effort who has gone thru wat im going thru..
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